August 1st, 1984

Emotions. One of the many weaknesses of a woman, or… so her father says. Arial had felt too many emotions, most of them being negative. She felt too strongly, felt too much, about far too many things. 

A tinge of resentment here, a sliver of jealousy there. By ten years old, she was just a bundle of rage, tied together by a crumbling exterior of patience and kindness.

She wanted her father to choose her. She wanted it so bad. More than anything, she didn’t want her father’s eyes to be on Archangelo, or Ala, or any of the others. She just wanted to be seen. 

When her sister arrived, all of the attention switched over to her. Her more rational self knew better, knew that she shouldn’t be jealous of a baby– it’s a baby. But she just couldn’t help it.

She sat at her mother’s old vanity table, brushing her hair, examining herself in the mirror. Her hair had that same waviness her mother had. Besides Angelo, again, always coming in second, she most closely resembled her mother. Most of the resemblance, though, was shallow. Sure, her eyes were the same color– hair, too– But Arial always felt like a mockery of her mom, like she had all the right features, but that they never clicked together just right.

Her father brought her back to the house this time, along with the newest additions to the family. She glanced at the crib through the mirror. Since Arial was the only other girl in the family, they decided to put the baby in her room. Which she hated. 

Birdy was what they called her, a name she had chosen to mock her new sister. Ala didn’t like it, he was always the one with the most squeaky clean morals. She didn’t think that the baby’s name should be left up to a snide remark that Azriel made over dinner. 

She lived with Birdy. She lived with her cries. She lived with her snot. And her dirty diapers. But Arial knew that until her father noticed her, she was helpless.

Arial had stirred from her sleep and began to whine and cry, somehow being louder than the music playing from the record player. The cries did not mix well with Brenda Lee’s signing. Arial set her brush down and huffed with annoyance. She stood, pushing away her seat, and walked over to the crib. She looked down at Birdy as she squirmed, her face all red and wet with tears. She really did not want to deal with this. The cries made her want to bury her head into a pillow and wait there until Birdy had cried enough to where she couldn’t scream anymore and went silent again. Of course, Birdy never did that. She would cry until she got what she wanted. 

“Are you going to stop Birdy’s crying or are you just going to keep staring at her?” Arial jumped back at the sound of her father’s voice. She glanced up to her father leaning against the doorframe, hair neatly combed back and glasses sitting at the crooked bridge of his nose. He pushed himself off the frame and walked towards the record player, turning down the music. He then made his way over to the crib and picked Birdy up, placing her in Arial’s arms.

“You’re the woman of the house now, Arial… it’s your job to take care of the little ones while Papa does his research, you understand?” Arial nodded.

“Sorry, papa…” He patted her on the shoulder, Arial slightly flinching away from his touch. Dr. Capulo walked off. 

She felt almost as though she had disappointed him. She looked down at Birdy. If it wasn’t for her, Papa wouldn’t be putting this responsibility on her. He wouldn’t be disappointed in her. When the baby was soothed and put back to sleep, she set her down carefully back into the crib. She turned around and was surprised to see her father still in her room.

He was looking at mother’s vanity, caressing the beautiful woodwork that was designed in the polished wood. Arial never saw her parents act like the princes and princesses she reads in her secret little stories. Where the prince adores the princess and calls her all these love-filled words and sweeps the princess right off her feet. But her family was never like that. In moments like these though, it makes her wonder if her father really did love her mother once upon a time. Maybe before the hospital, before they had Ala, before Papa was sent to war. Did they love each other? Was there happiness… Possible? 

When her father picks up the framed photo of her mother that she keeps on that vanity desk, she thinks yes. With the sorrowful look in his eyes, there must have been a time where they really truly loved each other just like the princes and princesses in those books. A time where her father once felt love and compassion for another human being. Once he caught sight that Arial was staring, he returned to his cold and composed face and set the picture down. 

“Well now, you got the baby back under control, I’ll take my leave then,” As he began to leave, Arial felt a panic rise in her chest and she reached out her hand, but she quickly pulled back. Her father probably was rushing to get back to work and she didn’t want to disrupt that. Her father must’ve seen her reach out because he had stopped as he was about to step out the door and looked at her.

“You have something to say. Speak.” She gulped, and picked at her fingernails. She needed to think quickly, what did she want to say? She honestly didn’t mean to reach out for him, but now she needed to think of something so as to not waste anymore time. 

“I…I was just wondering if, maybe, the baby could be in someone else’s room? My room is… quite small, papa, and there really isn’t enough room for the both of us. And aren’t I too young to take care of a baby?” She glanced up at her father’s face and scrunched up his face, as if he was somehow offended that she would ask something like that.

“Arial, I’ve already told you. You’re a young woman now. The woman of the house. It’s your responsibility to take care of the baby. You’re… the only one who’s able to do it, shouldn’t that make you feel special?” It kind of did, but still, she did not want to have any business with this baby.

“But Papa, there’s Ala. He’s been taking care of the little ones, way before I have! Why do I have to do it?” He took a step forward and she shut her mouth real quick, fear that he was going to pop her in the mouth.

“You’re sounding just like your mother right now, always nagging for someone to help her with the children. The baby was put in your room because you are a woman, that is your job as a woman, and it will always remain your job as woman! I give you one thing, one single tiny thing, for you to do and you can’t even do that!” His voice began to raise and he took more steps towards her. She kept backing up away from him, tears threatening to spill, until her back hit the wall.

“Just like your mother! Always like that sorry excuse of a woman! Why can’t any of the children that come from me be like me, huh!? Or Ala!? No matter how little I have let you guys see her, you all always end up like her and I’m sick of it! I’m sick of it! I’m sick of you little rats. Devilspawn!” He had balled his hands into fists and Arial felt fear spread all throughout her body. She should’ve just kept her mouth shut. Both of their heads swerved towards the crib when the baby began to cry again. Probably from her father’s yelling. Arial hurried to pick Birdy back up and soothe her back to sleep. Her father rubbed the side of his head, as if to make a headache less irritating.

When she had calmed the baby back down and set her back in the crib, Arial was too afraid to turn back around to look at her father, if he was still there at all, so she just continued to look down at Birdy squirm in her sleep.

“Arial, look at me,” She sucked in a breath and slowly turned herself around. Her father’s arms were crossed and he had a worn look on his face. She never really realized how many wrinkles have now scattered over his face, but they were noticeable now. He breathed in slowly while closing his eyes and looked back at her as he exhaled.

“You made me very upset just now, I think you know that.” She nodded,“But I do appreciate you taking care of the baby as soon as it started crying, I want to see more of that from you.” She felt the hot tears fall down her cheek and she nodded. He walked back over to her and got down to her eye level. He brushed a tear away with his thumb and looked into her eyes. It made her really uncomfortable.

“That being said, you can’t let these feminine emotions consume you. You don’t want to end up even more like your mother, do you? You know how she went out, I… I hope you wouldn’t want that,” She shook her head slowly. The corners of his mouth quivered and he pulled back, turning his back towards her.

“I ought to get back to my studies. I have to plan the next upcoming experiment and make sure everything goes right. I’ll leave you and the baby here-”

“Uh, Papa? Is this an experiment for me?” He looked surprised for a second. Guess he forgot that she was almost at that age where she got her wings.

“Do you want it to be for you?” 

She nodded eagerly. He glanced over at the crib for a second and back at her. 

“I- yes. Yes, the experiment can be for you. Though, aren’t you only eight? You have to be nine for it.” 

Arial thought for a second. With the amount of kids he’s got going on, she doubts that he actually remembers their actual ages. While it was true that she was eight, she wanted to have her wings. She wanted to be like the others. If she got her wings, she would have to stay at the hospital for most of the time. She’d be better than Birdy and she’d be able to get away from her.

“No, sir! I’m actually nine, Archangelo and I are twins, remember? We look just alike!”  Dr. Capulo looked in thought for a moment, before nodding.

“Alright then. Expect your experiment to be in a week. I’ll pick you up here and drive you to the hospital. Don’t embarrass me infront of my doctors, you need to show them how well you cooperate. They’ll like you even more if you show them that,” And with that, Enzo walked out of the room, leaving Arial feeling happier than ever. She was going to make her Papa proud.